you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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