Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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