You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize