she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
