i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
