I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
