Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
