The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
