I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
