After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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