Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
