This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
