Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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