My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
