Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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