kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
