Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
