Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
