Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
