Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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