I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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