First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize