I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
