Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
