I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
