'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
