some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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