we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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