idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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