Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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