she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
