I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
