btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize