I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
