she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
