Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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