Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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