I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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