Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
