apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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