just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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