No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
