I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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