How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
