If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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