I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
