The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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