I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
