i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
