I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
