Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
