So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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