I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
