I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
