you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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